Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My feet surprised me
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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