I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
