Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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