when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
