i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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