hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize