i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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