We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
