I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
