Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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