is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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