every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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