Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
