rhymes with "ouble enetration"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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