Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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