he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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