it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
