just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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