If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think my fart just growled at me.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
