Im at strip club and am horny
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
