Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
