Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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