Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I am one with the molecules
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
