dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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