I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
