chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
