i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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