You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
