Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
