I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize
