I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
