i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
