Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The air taste purple.
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