Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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