perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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