I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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