i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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