everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
false alarm. still invincible.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
