Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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