This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
