Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
