She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
How external is "for external use only"?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
