do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
