i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
