There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
