How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
