Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
