he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
