Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
