like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I deserve this hangover.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
