I want to have your abortion
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
