on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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